I maybe shouldnt be replying to you about this but found help recently dealing with guilt on these forums....I DID mess up 6 months ago and am still trying to forgive myself, my partner has no idea and i believe i am paying for it in my own way....

From a personal point of view i very much doubt he messed up, my reactions were far from being nice, sleepless nights, deep moods, anxiety were how i reacted to the guilt of doing something so wrong...

Dunno if this helps or not