Echoes, I have that internal censor as well. And it is TORTURE for me. Even on here, completely anonymously, more times than not, I censor what I really want to say out of some fear. I honestly cannot talk to the grocery store clerk without running everything through the censor first. Its something I am struggling desperately with, trying to find out why I do this and how to stop myself. Do you know why you do this to yourself? Do you find you always do it, or only in certain situations? I hope this isn't too off topic, but I've never heard anyone else say that about the censor before and it really caught my attention.

As for the word bothering you, I can also understand that. I am very, very, very bad about picking about a person's language (the semantics of what was said) and almost always interpreting it in the most hurtful (to myself) and damaging of ways. I think its part of that censor thing. Its like everything I say runs through it on the way out and everything I hear runs through it on the way in. Does that make sense?