Echoes, it sounds like things are so hard for you right now, keep talking with t, Sometimes when i feel the worse for ware, that is when i usually have some sort of break through in therapy... I hate that it feels like pain to have to reach the good parts, but sometimes for me that is just the way it is..
It is good that you confronted your t, we need to stand up for ourselves (easier said then done) you have made amazing progress with this t and it seems like you have a connection, so keep going and you will succeed!