I'm assuming she is in high school, right. First, does she have some kind of assignment notebook? By the time she is in high school there is only so much you can do. If you haven't called the teachers, try that, but I don't think they'll be all too helpful since it is high school. Is there any posting of assignments on the web or via phone? My old school had some kind of homework hotline that we could use if we forgot.

You're right, you can only stay on her so much. She needs to think school work is important and right now, if I had to guess, I would think the ex is hurting more than helping. If Dad nags her no matter what, why do the work? Ya know?

You're doing everything you need to do as a mom. At some point, she has to take responsibility for her actions too. Could this be an ADD related issue? Like maybe she forgets? Sounds like a good enough reason for me to see about getting her ADD eval redone by someone competent.

Do what you think is right. Not "his way". Since you are being blamed either way, you might as well know in your heart you're doing everything YOU know how to help your daughter.