Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
One thing I noticed was that N didn't jump up and deny or act shocked either time someone else spoke "for" him, which kind of includes him, in my mind, regardless of whether it's hearsay or not. All three boys behaved inappropriately but I'd be worried about what they're "learning" from the whole thing.
For an 8 year old boy to say "I want to have sex with you" and they can't know what that "is" because they are not through puberty, do not have erections for sexual purposes, etc. means that an adult has said that in their hearing, maybe only on TV, but the meaning from when a healthy man says that to a healthy woman, what "happens" (I find you attractive, I want you, etc.) is a positive emotion but here, in an 8 year old's misunderstanding, it's out of place/the wrong way to express interest in another person. But who's going to teach him all that? Just making him think he said a "bad" word/phrase, can't educate him about what's wrong with the whole thing.
To me, it's not really about sex and wrong words, it's about the child watching something he cannot, by definition, understand "correctly" no matter how hard he tries and no one (his parents) have stepped in to make sure that doesn't happen again. I think the boy's understanding of "like" and "interest" in other people adn how to communicate one's feelings has been damaged/skewed and isn't being addressed.
|
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Very good point Perna and I agree he probably didn't know why this was wrong. This is why i mentioned earlier how I perceive this differently, compared to if they were older. I spoke with the principle about this topic. I said to her - why are kids talking like this in grade 2
. She and I both agreed he most likely hears his older brother(grade5 -too young) also) and gets it from TV, older adults etc. He has made it known that he likes my daughter(crush) so he may be thinking that sex means - he's showing his school boy affection - who knows.
Since we have strict privacy laws here in Canada, I didn't ask if she was going to call his parents or if she was going to take this as a teachable moment. I doubt she would be able to do that, since this is his parents job. She's a good principle and I don't think she made him feel horrible but told him this isn't appropriate to say anyone. She said he actually used the word "inappropriate" himself.
Since my girls started school, they come home eat a snack and we discuss how their day went or we talk over dinner. When they tell me about kids who get in trouble, I use these as teachable moments. I think TV, the internet and not enough one on one parent time is to blame. It's well known many parents don't have quality time where they sit and talk about important things like bullying or saying inappropriate words and why.
I hope the teacher will mention it to his parents since tonight is parent/teacher interviews. If my child said this or did anything significant I would want to know. So I can only hope someone will take the time to explain to N why this word was inappropriate and how better to express his school boy affection. Maybe he thinks this is the only way to say he likes her - I don't know.
My girls know it's inappropriate so why doesn't he? - I kind of feel sorry for him. I remember when my oldest was in senior kindergarten a boy gave my daughter a 'garbage tie ring" - he twisted it on her finger and said "I like you". She came home all happy saying "look what I got" - too cute. This is the kind of things that should be happening - cute little innocent crushes. Sigh - it's a different and tough world now a days and scary when you have 2 girls.