I'm sorry that things are going like this for you. Are you two able to talk? Was she just open about being attracted to this other guy or is it something that you found out inadvertently? How long have you been married? Do you tell her the things that you mentioned here, like loving the way she smells?

The languages of love thing is sooo true. My husband is definitely a gift giver. He's extremely kind and thoughtful and generous (sometimes to a fault!). My language is literally language. Its much easier for me to just say to him what I think than express it any other way. I'm very uncomfortable with romantic gestures, yet he loves to do romantic type things for me. But I have learned rather than hurt him by refusing the gifts/gestures or not graciously accepting them to, instead, appreciate the thoughts behind them. Maybe there is some way to get that across to her?

I don't know. I am really sorry you are hurting.