thanks for all this
i wouldnt say knives trigger really because, well, who isnt exactly afraid of people with knive? also, ive si'd in the past so what happened isnt whats on my mind when i see a knife. opening silverware doesnt freak me out; im not really paying attention when i do open it or others do. seeing my stepsister does freak me out, 'specially whenever we have to stay/sleep in the same room because she's also a cutter & i know what she keeps in her bag so im always afraid to go to sleep o.o she's a very.... weird sister and i dont trust her very well. ive never gotten triggered at the house because my dad moved while i was living with my mom [i only visit him rarely]. um, ive had nightmares on it before, but last night was the most recent and i dont think i'd ever seen his face so clearly before in one before & i couldnt go back to sleep once i woke up..
i dont know exactly if i can talk to a T cause my parents are clueless about anything that goes on with me. not this, not si, nothing.. so, i think they'd be confused if i said i wanted to talk to one for possible PTSD [and other]