Trigger warning.........


I didn't tell T. I haven't told anyone. Not about what I did the other night. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might get. But session was so bad today I couldn't tell her. I have to start over again after four years.

But the tension of fighting the urge is gone. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I wish I could do it again. But really the blade wasn't sharp enough.