Bipolar but I should get more of a formal diagnosis with testing.
I am considered highly functional, hold down a job, and have a secret life of wanting to die ALL THE TIME. I have a T and I shared with him my attempt story. Attempted 4 times, but since the medication I have not attempted again. I am afraid to die, but feel it calling me, pulling me. Every morning I wake to a minor panic attack, take meds and have to wait 30mins until I calm down. I recently shared with my wife about my suicide attempt from 18 years ago, in the 10 years of marriage I never told her... The old me is coming to life with the coming of a 2nd and my admission to grad school and work.