Quote:
Originally Posted by theodora
Finally!!! Some of it!!! Awful and Ugly abuse, oh Evening, I'm so very sad. I don't seem to be able to cry for me right now but I feel the tears a'rollin down my cheeks for the little girl that was you not so very long ago...I understand about the other stuff now. Monster!!! oh, and yes, your mom would've lost you if the authorities had known!!! But maybe that was a good thing? Getting put into the system is really bad here in the States.
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I was surprised that nobody ever did anything to get me out of there, I mean we had the NCA following us for months and they knew I was there, but they didn't do anything. My aunty, she was so concerned about him that my cousins were never allowed in my house for any reason, not for 30 seconds if I was getting some clothes to sleep over their house, even when he was in jail they couldn't step foot through the front door. Yet she left me there, never asked me if I was okay, never asked if I needed help.
My other aunty who I lived with for a year or 2 didn't have a choice, my mother was unheard of for months at a time while they were living in a car doing heroine. I didn't know if she was even alive. Yet when he went to jail and she had to go to my grandparents, my aunty and I had a fight and she said something that made me decide to leave (that she couldn't trust me anymore and was going to have to go through all my stuff all the time to make sure I wasn't hiding anything just because my cousin and I caught a mouse and put it in his room). After that I wasn't even allowed to go to my aunties house anymore, I'd lived there for years and when she found out I'd been there packing my belongings she said I had no right in her house anymore without her permission and to give back the key. I hadn't even moved out yet! So she grabbed boxes and tipped my belongings into them and gave them to me.
My cousin told me later that the whole thing was to get m out of her house and go back with my mother, despite knowing full well who I was going back to.
And my grandmother said to my therapist that she was worried he was sexually abusing me, is that what it had to be for someone to care?
I was treated like I was being a hassle whenever I asked for help, it was as though they were only helping when I asked to cover their own backs and say 'well I did this for you, I called the police when you asked, you can't say I did nothing'.
And my family wonders why I've not spoken to them recently, I don't know, perhaps my resentment has caught up with me?