(((meApe)))

I agree with Typo. I too can relate with what your wife is doing & saying. I have done the same things myself (with my ex-hub) many times.

My personal experience is that I'm "all or nothing". A huge flaw! I could not figure out how I truly felt about my husband, because my sense of self never really developed. The result is like a child: not happy? I hate. Happy? I love. One moment to the next. The thought of not loving my ex scared the heck out of me every time it hit. I would completely panic, the thought of losing him was unbearable! To make myself feel more secure, I'd do everything I could to hold onto him. A complete 180 degree change, which confused my ex, and last a few days before mellowing out a bit. Things would become more comfortable for both of us for a while until I was struck by the intense fear of not being "in love" again. What a horrendous roller coaster ride!

Sorry if my description scares you, or doesn't sound at all familiar. If it rings a bell, I'd recommend getting help (both solo and together) from a T. Very best wishes to you and your wife!