I thank you for your words of encouragement. I'm amazed with how you cope with it. The pain is so out of this world to me that it really can't leave my mind. I've tried some of your suggestions before but it just doesn't work for me. One thing though is that I have been going to school for a year now, and I still feel as though I haven't found my way yet. When I first started school, I was excited that I was going to meet new people and finally take that step forward into life. But it feels like it changed for the worst. I've hardly made any friends in the school, most of them talk to me only when they need help or to see if they can copy my work. Having the personality I have, I let them copy and that's all I ever talk to them about. The more and more I live, the more and more people walk over me. I have about another year of school before I finish with an AA. I don't really leave my room much, it' s like my safe house where I can never be touched or hurt. I guess you could say I'm scared of what other people think of me. I always try to be on everyone's good side. But I'm starting to learn that it isn't possible and it hurts to know. More and more I hate school and people everyday, but I can't hate them to thier face. I have no idea how much crap had been held in throughout my life, and sometimes I explode on the wrong people and it really brings me down after it's over. Once again after reading this over, I'm not sure if it makes sense.

I'm just curious as to those tests things. The results stated that it was a severe case of depression and it was recommended that I seek professional help. But should I trust tests like that? For all I know it can be some guy just wanting to toy with my emotions.