There is no excuse for your son to resist or refuse to pitch in & help out. You r headed 4 a breakdown if this kinda thing continues. Your Husband needs to back you up 100% on this too. Maybe you could threaten to kill...if things did not change. Come to think of it...this tactic only worked for me..so don't try it.
Get up on a soabox and tell them how things r gonna be from hereon in.
Good luck.
~Dottie