hello everyone:
I was diagnosed bipolar many years ago.I was never a very social person,but I tried. I even performed as flute player and singer in a show. Everything is good as long as I dont have to interact with people.
Im afraid I will hurt every relationship because of my super high standars.I know Im far from perfect but,if someone lies to me ...well that triggers such a fury in me and I can be the meanest person in the world. They hurt me so I hurt them. and so on... The problem is that one way or another I always end up alone. I isolate myself from people,I dont have a partner, I dont have friends, only my close relatives.
I cannot make myself get dress and just go places and meet people. I have been doing good with my finances and obligations but i feel Im draggin myself everyday...I have to..I have to....because I have 8 year old twins that look up to me and ...well..the father is never around.I got divorced 3 years ago.
I cant wait to finish my "mission" and just rest! my family doesnt understand how I feel or why.
I hope i can find virtual friends that can actually understand how I feel.
hugs to all!