Recently I have started to get treatment AGAIN for my Bipolar. Silly me thought I didnt need my meds. Regardless, I am back on them, kinda, and am thankful for this. (kinda, because of the anxiety attack they took me off Geodon and left me just on Lamictal).

When I saw the Nurse Practitioner the other day, I remembered him from the last time I was being treated. He was Phenomenal then, and he remains just as great. Very open, understanding of what I have been through in my life, even though he doesnt know everything. Just an all around caring and compassionate guy. He brought up the question, "Have you applied for Disability ?". I gave him my honest answer. I have never felt that I was disabled, even though I know that I have had hard times keeping down jobs in the past. Some have lasted for awhile, others just a few weeks.

After telling him that, he told me that he felt I could get disability. That he understands all of the issues I have on my plate that I am dealing with, (*I am a caregiver for my wife who has Multiple Sclerosis, and who may be joining PC herself) and that he thinks I should be able to get it. I am wondering, at what point do you finally realize, I think I need to apply. I mean, Not only do I have Bipolar, I have shown symptoms of it for many years though only diagnosed for 2, but I am also a caregiver. I have LEFT my job to care for my wife. It wasnt like I lost my job. I fear that they are gonna use that against me, showing that I was able to work for some time and I CHOSE not to work. Like, I am seeking money or something. Thats the fear, whether its imagined or not. I have never been after money. Just some form of help on bills when it comes to me medically.

In fact, my wife and I live on $568 per month, her SSI. I havent even applied for food stamps because there are so many people out there that have children, losing their jobs and not being able to put food on their tables. We have found a way, but it is a struggle. I just fear that they will use me leaving my job against me, as well as the fact that I am caring for my wife, they will try to say that I am able to do that so therefore I am able to take care of others as a job. This isnt the case, but How can you show them this.

I honestly feel that the bipolar, without a doubt, has caused me to have over 20 jobs in my life. Especially since I am only 31. Just, wanted some advice on those who may have faced similar issues.


Also, How many of us are Left Handed ?