((jamminpianogirl)) - yes I feel this was definately sexual abuse. Just because it wasn't violent, doesn't mean it wasn't abuse. Very often child abuse by a relative isn't violent because they groom and manipulate their victims to tolerate it. I don't think this was normal child's play and there WAS an unequal balance of power.

I can also understand why you weren't able to tell and unhappily tolerated it - I understand the shyness thing. When I was 13 my BIL tried to assault me and luckily I pushed him away but I didn't tell anyone until I was 24. I was so confused and shocked so I didn't say anything for years.

If your brother masturbated until he was 19 -I think he should remember this. I'm very sorry this happened to you. I think your brother needs help so he won't abuse again. I also think you need someone understanding to talk to, so this doesn't continue to affect you today. Just because it wasn't violent, doesn't mean it wasn't abuse. He manipulated you psychologically by withholding sibling love /connection.

* I just wanted to mention - now that I have kids of my own, I made sure I told them from a young age and continue to teach them, that no one, not a relative, friend etc should ever touch them. I've taught my girls that authority flies out the window when it comes to your body. So if Daddy's nice best friend or great uncle so and so tries to touch them - to be loud, rude and get away. This is what I learned from my experience and if you have children please do the same.