I believe that anytime there is unwanted touch, unwanted staring, sexual talk, anything like that, it is abuse. Since your brother is 2 years older than you, I wouldn't be surprised that he felt he had the upper hand and the control over you that he desired. If any of this makes you feel uncomfortable and bothers you, then, yes, it was abuse.
Perna, you wrote:
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I don't think it was technically abuse, since you were both "equal" in power/children (would have been abuse if it had been one of your parents).
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I'm confused by your comment as I don't see anything here being "equal". When one is told or shown that if one doesn't go along with what the other wants and then there is a consequence (taking away his friendship), that is not on equal stands. He has taken power over her in this case not only with threats of removing his friendship and connection, but with actually doing so when she finally called him on it. I'm not trying to be argumentative, I'm just a bit confused.
((((((((((( jammin ))))))))))))) I'm sorry you are feeling as you are. I hope that you know that some therapy could very well help how you view yourself and sex in the future. You have every right to feel what you feel.
I wish you well!
sabby