They can't put you in the hosptail for that, Speaking from experience. But yes, that is a form of self-injury for you. if you feel like it is self-injury then it is. I understand the wanting to NOT go back to the hospital, that's how I am too. And if it keeps you going, keep thinking of your girlfriend, and how you don't want her to cry, becuase sometimes thinking of others helps more than anything else. Just keep on going, things will get better.