Therapy can help with setting boundaries, recognising patterns, connecting with the wounded child and overcoming trauma.

If you suffer from PTSD it will be harder to assess situations in relationships.

As a general rule, though, without knowing your relationship, if you feel:
Unsafe, or
Discounted, or
Confused, or
Scared, or
Constantly worried, or
Angry, or
Depressed

Then something needs to change.

If your partner is angry and acts out on this anger towards you (shouts, pushes, pokes, threatens, calling names, ignoring you, etc...) then this is abuse.

I have been there and can identify with how you feel. A good book is 'The Verbally Abusive Relationship'.

If you want to post specific examples of situations that confuse you - please do.