My T said something surprising to me. She said that my dad was abusive too. I knew (after someone pointed it out to me) that my mom was abusive. It took a while to accept that the emotional and verbal abuse was abuse, and not just what life was supposed to be. But my T said that my dad was also abusive. She said that he was abusive because he blamed me and told me it was my fault for what my mom did. That it was my job to keep her calm and keep her from exploding.

I hadn't thought about that being abusive before. I told her I did because I didn't want to seem stupid. But I really hadn't. I had thought of it as neglectful (it's own type of abuse). But I hadn't thought of it as emotional abuse. We haven't had time to return to this yet. But it was on my mind. I don't know how to interact with him now. I've always been angrier with her about it. But I've been kind of angry at him for not stopping it and not standing up for me.

Aren't you supposed to protect your kids even if it is from your spouse?