It's hard to tell what is being judgmental and what is just having an opinion. You are allowed to think and feel whatever you want. It is absolutely terrible for anyone to continue a marriage and string a person along when they are blatantly in love with another person. I would judge him up and down all day long. I think it becomes a problem when you put yourself into the situation without being asked. And intentions have a lot to do with it. Are you thinking and saying these things literally because you think it's horrible or to maybe cover up problems in your own marriage? Like if I see a girl that is dressed like a total floosy, before I say anything I think to myself "am I saying this because I really think it is inappropriate? or am I saying it because I wish I could do that or wish I looked like that? I think when you find the answer to WHY you're saying it, that's your answer to whether it's wrong or not.

And as for your therapist - just say "I'm not paying 100 bucks an hour to hear YOU talk!" lol