This sounds like more of a communication issue rather than a money issue. You don't like that he is so concerned about it, and he doesn't like that you aren't as concerned about it. And neither one is making a compromise.

I'm in almost the exact opposite situation. My bf makes almost double what I do. He is used to living at a higher standard than me. For the first time in my life, I'm totally broke. So I sat down and looked at the bills and realized...I am paying half of things that I don't even want! HE wants the HD Directv and HE keeps the lights on all the time, HE wants to go out all the time and HE likes to have the fastest internet EVER. When did I say I wanted any of that?! I am a very simplistic person. If it doesn't have a purpose - I don't want it. So I finally blew up and said that if he wants to keep all this fancy crap then he has to start giving me more than 1/2 of utilities. And I think that is fair. Just the simple fact that he took it into consideration and realized my concern made me not even care anymore and I still pay 1/2. I just wanted him to hear me out and actually care what I was saying.

Maybe if you acknowledge your husband's concern, he won't ***** so much when it is time to spend money. I feel like he probably just feels ignored, but so do you. You both want to be heard but you wont stop and listen to each other.

I just went back and read one of your other replies and I feel like I can't help but think that you both complain a lot. I really mean no offense what so ever. But I realize myself doing the same thing. I will sit there and ***** at my boyfriend for *****ing....... how does it help a situation to complain about someone complaining? Just a thought. Not trying to down you or anything.