((((((((shangrala))))))))

maybe whatever the priority is that you so want to focus on is a struggle because it's not something that comes naturally or easily. that sounds obvious but let me explain. i'm sure there are many things that are important to you that you have no problem focusing on and following through with. you probably had some healthy modeling and support in those areas though. this priority, the one you struggle with, you probably didn't have healthy modeling or support for thruout your life. so, it is something that is a constant battle for you. it sounds like you are pretty hard on yourself, but there is a reason why we feel like a scared little child at times. there were things that happened in life that scared her. she hasn't recovered yet. have you ever thought of doing something like adult children of alcoholics? i went for a number of years and i'm not from an alcoholic family. it really helped me to understand that my problems weren't just about me but a whole family system. i have a tendency to blame myself for everything and it really helped me to realize it's not all my fault. it's not all your fault shangrala.