i`ve read that a lot of people who have BPD have been victims of childhood sexual abuse , so it`s almost like a PTSD thing. but what if you weren`t? i was diagnosed with BPD when i was 20 and i was never abused. my dad is a recovering alcoholic & he drank until i was 21 but i never knew it b/c he never drank in the house & was just always calm & mostly quiet. he was verbally abusive to my mom but never in front of my brother & me. do you think kids can sense that things are messed up but not consciously realize it? my childhood seemed "normal." the only "messed up" thing i remember is me. my mom took me to a T for the 1st time when i was THREE b/c of chronic, unexplained stomachaches. when i was like 9, i wouldn`t eat for like 6 months b/c i was afraid of choking. i was HORRIBLE to my brother. i abused him verbally and hit him. i still feel guilty about it. i was ALWAYS unstable. the 1st time i SI was when i was 12. i was doing my homework & then was gauging my wrist up for no known reason. how does this happen?