Yesterday I just had to ask my husband a question. "Do you think addicts have a disease or a character flaw?" After a blank stare and an "I dunno"...he finally admitted that maybe addicts have a disease that they cannot control. Of course, he wanted to know why I had asked. Prior to me asking, we had just engaged in yet another verbal war over a comment I made off the top of my head that he took offense to. I explained to him that the reason I asked was this: first, bipolar and anxiety are diseases, not character flaws. Second, my husband is an addict- indulging in alcohol and pot on a regular basis. He expects ME to understand that he has no control over his addictions, so I should take him for what he is. Which I do...I accept him regardless. I tried to explain that since I accept him for what he is, he should return the favor and accept my illnessess too. It really hurts me that our relationship, after 11 years, has become so volatile, and that he cannot see that my bipolar/anxiety is not something I choose. He thinks my outbursts, my periods of depression, and my insecurities are something I choose because I want to "show my ***". Could you guys comment on how your mental illness has affected your relationships please? I really feel so alone in this... Thanks.

~May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness; this is immeasurable loving kindness~