Yes, sounds like your mother had it rough with your father (and you) and who knows her own growing up? You no doubt sensed that or had experiences of your own as a very young child that didn't teach you security so you remained reactive instead of growing emotionally.

It is possible to learn what we didn't as a child, not quite as easily or as ideally as when we were at the age they should have learned it originally but the "warping" of our growing tree selves can be straightened back up quite a bit so we're once again growing up instead of sideways where the wind and storms forced us in the past and to which we got accustomed.