Huh??? What am I missing here? Why does he get the kids and the house? Do you want that? You should absolutely NOT draw up your own divorce papers if you are just going to throw everything away like that. Why would you do that? Get a lawyer and do this right. You are entitled to a lot of the assets when the marriage ends, the assets that grew while you were together and a partnership and sharing the support of your family, whether by earning cash or taking care of the kids or whatever. It is total BS to say that he gets the kids because he has the steady income. Is he the one telling you that? The way it works is he pays you child support for his share of the kids' maintenance. If he makes 3 times the salary than you do, then he will pay way more for their upkeep, even if they live with you. Also, many couples have shared custody these days. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. My own divorce was finalized last year--20+ years marriage, 2 kids. I have custody about 65% of the time and my XH about 35%. This works for us. The kids get to keep both parents in their lives, which is healthy for them. Why would you give 100% custody to him? Please see a lawyer--they are not all bad. I had a wonderful lawyer who worked closely with my H's lawyer to make sure we came through this with as little acrimony as possible, and always keeping the interests of the kids foremost. (We used a process called collaborative divorce which is designed to not be antagonistic, and this keeps the bills from mounting too.) Have you considered that it is not in your kids' best emotional interests to spend 100% of their time with Dad? Please consider your kids in this and don't give up everything. They need their Mom. (Along the lines of what Champagne said, his porn addiction and his behavior will not help him any if he tries to insist on getting 100% custody.)

I know this may sound unsympathetic, but can you try to pull yourself together so you can get a decent divorce? The self injury types of stuff can make you look bad in the divorce proceedings. (Don't let your husband know you are doing that stuff as it could be used against you.) When you have managed the divorce, then you will have some time to fall apart. Hold it together until then, OK? You could really hurt your future by giving up so easily.

I am sending you lots of good wishes for strength and relief from all you have been through. I want to share with you that now that I am divorced, I am happier than I have been for at least a decade. There are brighter times ahead. Please get a lawyer.