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I'm not worried about him being social, I want him to be, as long as I'm there.
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Can you notice the controlling nature of this statement?
We can become over controlling when we are very scared. I think its important for you to work on your fears so you dont pass them to your child and create a self fulfilling prophecy.
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I'm worried that if he's with other people (and I'm not there to protect him or keep an eye on the other people), he'll be hurt, abused, or neglected. If he's with someone else, I'll have no idea what's going on with him. And right now, he couldn't even tell me if something happened with someone else, he's only 18 months old.
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That is understandable. He is vulnerable and at such a soft age. Its a natural motherly instict to want to protect your child and make sure he has no harm. I sense though that there is a sense of lack of trust. In yourself and in other people. Considering what you have been through - I can see why that is. But remember that not all people are like that. The best thing you can do is use your judgment. Who is good to be around your kid and should not be anywhere near. So you know your mum is ok and your dad is not for example. I think that when you trust yourself and your perceptions it will be easier.
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I wouldn't be able to handle the anxiety and panic, fear and worry of him being watched by someone else.
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Are you seeing a therapist? maybe it would be useful to talk and explore these worries. They go much deeper than this I suspect. You are suffering and I think re-experiencing some of the trauma as well. Will be really useful to talk to someone.
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I had a very bad separation problem with my mother. She was my safety. She wasn't bad about separation, but she was very over-protective.
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And so are you, if you wont resolve this...
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She wasn't really controlling at all, she let me have my freedom. My father was very controlling though (and still tries to be).
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I am sorry!
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My father and my father's mother were and still are (only emotionally though) abusive to me. My father was abusive in almost everyway.
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I am sorry. Its difficult to come to terms with that I am sure. Do you want to write more about the abuse? would that help?
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I was also assaulted by a few "friends" and strangers. So, I know what people can do to other people and I know what people can do to kids and that can be even worse.
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Yes - not everyone is nice on this planet. Its so sad. But a mother can never protect 100%. As kids grow they are free to explore and meet people. The best thing you can do is install a sense of safety in your home and openess. So you know that your child can always come to you and talk to you about anything.
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Especially when the child can't speak freely or cannot speak fluently!
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I understand that. Do you think he is in danger now? Do you think he is being abused?
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It is possible the dentist appointment had something to do with the dream, but the dentist appointment was 7 months ago.
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That plays no factor. It was a meaningful and emotional experience for you. It is often, by the way, an emotional exprience for new mums to go to the dentist. I remember my sister felt so strange the first time she went to the dentist after her son was born. It was the first time she left him. And even though he was with his dad - she felt panicky and worried and guilty.
Worth remembering that from now on and especially around the age of 2 -3 the goal of development is separation. If your child learns healthy saperation at this stage - his life will be alot easier later on. Try to relax a bit and trust your own judgment. Talk to a therapist and examine ways to deal with this. For the sake of your child and yourself and your healthy relationship.
Also - do you put any boundaries around your dad and his mother?