combine both of these, and that's how i feel. I just needt to vent. So please excuse this, but ...... How much longer can I hide everything from my roommates????? I've been quite dillusional today and last night, but this is going to far. Hill wants to SI really bad, and it would be the type that would put me in the hospital very easily. I'm just scared tha she will do it, and that I wont be able to stop it. I'm working overtime right now trying to stop her. being around people doesn't stop her anymore. and it's becoming to much. I can't take it anymroe!!!!!!!!!! I'm having a hard time staying calm, and it's becoming tooooooooo much for me. I don't know how long it will be before she really does take over. I'm scared, I don't want SI to happen, I've been clean for 3 weeks now. I dont' want to start that over again, especialy with college. I just can't take this anymore, and she wants something more than that.