Okay I'll be honest I spank my kids. But it doesn't happen that often even with four under the age of 8. Its normally after 3 warnings and time outs. And only for something serious like hitting the dog (we have several animals and teach them to respect all things living) or doing something dangerous. And we get told repeatedly how well behaved our childern are. That being said for the most part I think my eldest girl has been spanked maybe 10 times in her whole life the baby got her first spanking about 2 weeks ago ( I bawled more than she did) and the boys well they're boys they tend to do things without thinking. Every child is an individual and must be treated as such. One might respond to a stern look and break down and one might keep pushing till a lesson is reinforced. You and your husband are the parents not a "friend". Just remember your job as a parent is to love your child and groom him for his adultlife in the real world.