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Old Sep 22, 2005, 06:27 PM
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dexter dexter is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Dec 2003
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 3,133
I am usually the opposite... I feel better when I go to work and can have my mind off of personal things. The personal stuff got overwhelming at work this week and that is why I am home today, even though it is worse.

I also have a little fear even though this is a totally different situation... with my previous job, that was when my depression started but it was unrelated to work. My depression was untreated and I just kept throwing myself more and more into work because it was the only time I could get my mind off of things and feel productive. I would cry in the car all the way to work and all the way home, but at work I could function and be productive. Even so I was isolating myself there from co-workers as my depression grew, working longer hours when I could be alone there sometimes...

Then everything blew up at work with a co-worker there and it became a source of great pain, so I could no longer go to work and had no source of relief, even temporary, anywhere. That's when my nights were at their worst as my mind would just race and race and my stomach would tense up and my heart would beat and I would just feel the worst. That's when I went into the hospital and was unable to work for more than a year afterward.

My current just is much better, it is much more supportive (they don't know about my depression but do know about the other illnesses I suffer) but it scares me on a day like today when I can't even go in to face work and just hide in bed all day. And I am afraid of what tonight may bring, although I should be OK with my nighttime meds (Lexipro) and the Lunesta to help me sleep.
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