This may sound like a silly question, but have you guys considered therapy? It is an option you might consider, that is if you are wanting to make the marriage work.

That being said, I too have been in your situation years ago. I drank and used drugs in order to deal with the complete idiot known as my ex-husband. And while the alcohol and drugs helped me cope with someone I found extremely irritating, the truth was that I was unhappy. With him and with myself. And I stayed unhappy and caught in that cycle for quite sometime until I figured out that I didn't have to live like that anymore. And neither do you. One thing to remember is that you can't change anyone but yourself. You mentioned that you used to be on anxiety meds. Maybe now is a good time to get yourself back on them, especially if they help control your anxiety. Or maybe find another way to relieve your stress. Try exercising, taking your kids to the park, find a friend you can talk to perhaps. You have to find a way to keep yourself mentally and emotionally happy. If you don't, the stress and unhappiness you feel will trickle down to all other areas of your life. At least that has been my experience. I wish you the best of luck.