thanks annoyedone... I had never thought of him being any thing other than in control... I am going to attempt to not drink as often and if I can do that then at least I know the alcohol doesnt have control over me. maybe Ill just take my meds early and catch up on sleep this week. I always knew about his insecurities when we were just best friends... but being married has changed my view on him and sometimes its just too much and I forget hes human too. He summed it up last week when he said if my and my step mom wouldnt say/do stupid things then we wouldnt get talked to like were stupid. Like its our fault that he and his dad treat us like were 3 and unable to think for ourselves. geez maybe I wont be able to make it without drinking. who knows. but im going to try for tonight to start out with. maybe every other night 3 beers and thats all... if I cant do that then im screwed. lol thanks everyone