Strongly recommend you read this book:

The Verbally Abusive Relationship - by Patricia Evans.

Your man and his dad are abusive. He tells you you are stupid and therefore deserve bad treatment and humiliating words. He undermines your confidence and questions your sanity. He treats you as a little kid and says you cannot think for yourself. He discounts you and violates your boundaries as a person. He makes you feel worthless and with no self esteem - so you drink. You forget that you are resourceful and able to take action and change your reality. You accept his criticism and bad treatment. You feel like you are not worth it.

Well - I do not recommend marriage counselling. I recommend for you to start therapy for yourself and also attend group support for abused women. The reality is harsh but once you understand his state of mind and motives (need to control you, to dominate and stay one over to feel OK with himself) the power of these will fade away.

I am glad you decided to stay away from alcohol. Its awsome! Its a decision of a mature and logical person.

Hugs to you and I hope you keep on the good work xxxx