I think it is abuse simply because the effects you describe (jami, reb and allme) are consistent to those of any victim of abuse. You carry forward issues that impact how you relate to men and sex and intimacy and can directly relate those issues to the incidents with your brother.

Normal child's play doesn't leave those kinds of scars. You are scared and need healing because of what your brother had you doing with him. It will take professional help to sort it all out for you.

Send your brother the bill for your therapy along with a referal to a good therapist for himself. I pray he hasn't continued this with any others in his life and I am sorry if he too is a victim. It so often is the case when children act out this way.