Vicky, I very much relate. I had had terrible trouble with meds - I had been seriously mis-medicated for 6/7 years to the extent that I tried to end it 2 years ago and nearly did success, coma etc. I moved from the city to a town and psychiatrist here is great he soon established I should not be on that class of meds and took me off them, I would be dead now if he hadn't - no doubt about it.

But then last year with some major life issues and the meds not working, I was on that slope again. Along with all the other meds I'm on he tried Lamictal and Whooaaa, after I got to the therapeutic dose later in the year (he is scrupulous about side effects and I even needed a psych ward stay to get up into the therapeutic dose) I have started to climb out of the pit.

I shower every day, I wear clean clothes, I do the housework (not perfect but good), I am eating better and would you believe have lost 11kg (as Vicky mentioned psych meds are diabolical for weight). I am on the Disability Support Pension (Australia) And would you believe, I have started a part time University course. I have been trying to get enrolled since December but have been enrolled now just for a couple of weeks. I have started the course and love it. I had a great career for many years for which I did a lot of study, but I lost my career due to my mental illnesses, so starting something new is so exciting.

But I would never be doing all that stuff if I hadn't had a med change and become more functional. Don't get me wrong, I have bad days and get hopeless, even suicidal very quicly, but I listen to my therapist and do what she says and that helps.

So I would say to everyone, if you're not well, keep poking your psychiatrist to investigate other meds (I've been through zillions, but I have to keep trying).