Well.... mom has slapped me across the face a few times. Less than five I think over the course of my life. It may have been more but I don't remember all the stuff that happened when I was really really little, and most of that was just basic discipline that parents do to kids.

I guess what bothers me most is stuff like she's constantly making me feel guilty for things. Everyone in our family knows she does it, and she does it to everyone, but I think it affects me more. Like... a few times I've been in a really bad place and she's poured out this speech about how much money she and dad have spent on therapists, educational testing, etc., and how none of it seems to have any effect. She's also really passive-aggressive, like my brother and I will ask her if she needs help with something, she will adamantly (to the point of getting angry) refuse, and then yell at us later for being lazy and not helping. For a few years she'd criticize my clothing choices at least weekly before school, to the point where I felt ashamed and hurt. She's said pretty mean things about my body before, but most of that was couched in helpful stuff like, "You need to get out more, be more active, join a gym" and was in response to my own really low self-esteem.

The only thing I can really say was significantly abusive was when she basically locked me in a changing room at the mall and wouldn't let me leave until I'd tried on all the clothes she kept bringing in for me, even though none of them fit and I was crying because I was so ashamed of my body and so frustrated.

Sorry, I know most of you have dealt with stuff that's about 100 times worse than this and I probably seem kind of trivial to you all. But I do appreciate you reading. I will talk to my doc about this when I see her next, which should be within the next few weeks. Hopefully she can give me some insight as well.