Your mother kind of sounds like my mother and uncles with her hurtful words. They were raised in an abusive home and they try to not be abusive, but they are just too blunt, don't think about if what they say could be hurtful. It's just because the way they were raised, they can't get rid of all of it no matter how hard they try.

Her slapping you on the face, that's definitely abusive. Parents shouldn't be slapping their kids on the face.

What do you mean by "basic discipline that parents do to kids"? What happened in your home could be considered "normal" to you, you might think it happens in all homes, but it might not, or the discipline could have been excessive. I was physically abused, but it was in the name of "discipline". That was just an excuse.

The guilt trips are emotionally abusive since parents are supposed to be taking care of their children, not complaining about them wasting their money on their needs. They brought them into the world. But she can be saying these things to get you to try more in your therapy. My mother wouldn't complain about the bills, but she would complain that I wasn't getting anywhere in therapy. I wasn't opening up enough or be honest enough.

It sounds like your mom is probably being triggered by you asking her if she needs help. That's why she is getting angry and then acting like she never got angry and said no. It's not right for her to call you lazy though.

My mother and my uncle complain about fitness of their children. My mom would about my sister, but a while ago, I realized it was my grandmother that had the problem that made them this way. But since I witnessed my mother saying those kinds of things to my sister, I think that's definitely abusive. But she may just want you to be healthier.

Your mom might have just wanted to buy you clothes that fit you right or that she wanted you to wear. That sounds like it was just made worse by your own feelings about trying on clothes. Was she aware that it was torturing you? When you were crying did she act like she cared and still wanted to help you find something that would fit you or did she tell you "You better try these on right now, stop your crying!" ?

It sounds like maybe your mom is trying to be a good mom, but not doing it the best, because maybe she didn't have the best example. She may be trying to tell you good things, but not saying them the right way and you are taking them offensively. Moms and teenage daughter do tend to fight more, because before this age the daughter looked up to the mother, and now they are want to find themselves. But if she's damaging your self-esteem by what she says, that's emotional abuse. And the slapping in the face, that's not right.