Susan888 - okay I will turn myself in
ur post is the most powerful real example of how being sick an dieing not just kills the person but the family. I am so scared but I have an apt with the pdoc today and I will be honest - really honest - I have pasted the critical stage (I think) but super scared (can a man share that?)
Ashadow - I feel the warm breath of life, your whisper, talking reason in my ear - like mother nature herself trying to save animals in a burning forest - through triggering instincts of survival. The words, don't u want to see ur baby's face will resonate with me today.

I feel very sorry today. I don't mean to be crule, hateful or cause problems, I am really ill and u have all convinced me to get help. Please forgive me if I have caused any triggers. Everyone thankyou for your honesty and shared stories, I did not really think of what would really happen to my family - thank you all. PLEASE keep posting, as will I.
Lonescout