everytime i think about my abuse and the things that i went through all i can think is that it was my fault not just part of it but all of it why didnt i stop him why didnt i make it all stop how come i was too weak where was my strength its just not fair i hate when people tell me its not my fault because it is i never once tried to stop it if anything i encouraged it i agreed to it not only my body wanted it but my mind wanted it ugh i hate feeling this pain but what else can i do what else can i say