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Originally Posted by ladymacabethadmunsen
If we feel we are abused - which usually involves feeling blame like we deserve the abuse (repressing that we lose control of ourselves by allowing the other to cross OUR declines) Dependency on the abuser, a feeling that they are a threat to us, terror, fear, helplessness.
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THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL!! Or have felt, and am beginning to unlearn recently. I always feel like I deserve it, like I am not valid, like whatever her reaction is, it's my fault. She's also controlling to the point where it's invasive, especially about clothing and who my friends are. Some of that's normal ("Don't wear the booty shorts to church," "Don't associate with the drug addicts!") but since I'm actually quite competent most of the time it gets.... difficult. I feel as though I can never do anything right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ashadow271
It sounds like maybe your mom is trying to be a good mom, but not doing it the best, because maybe she didn't have the best example. She may be trying to tell you good things, but not saying them the right way and you are taking them offensively. Moms and teenage daughter do tend to fight more, because before this age the daughter looked up to the mother, and now they are want to find themselves.
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That also sounds extremely accurate. Mom has an extremely hard time with the fact that, no, I am not her 3-year-old dress-up doll anymore, and has said as much to me.
My mom was abused when she was young, so that also leads me to think that her behavior might also be abusive.