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We once had a man hand us a quarter. He asked us what did we see. The first answer was heads. He had us look at it again but turn it over. This time it was tails. This time he asked us how do we know if it was a real quarter. We looked at the quarter turned it over a couple of times. Then looked at the man and said It has two sides to show its value. He smiled at us and asked us “How does a quarter remind you of life?”
Now we had just been crying about how our life had so many bad things happen to us. After all we were many in one body. But he had also took the time to ask us about the good in our life. So we looked at the quarter then at him and said “Life has both good and bad in it.”
With that he asked us “How can you know what each is truly like if you have never experienced either one? Each one has its own value and if you can not tell the difference how can you place value on it?”
By now we were shaken our head. For this was not the first time we had this conversation for each one of us still had to grumble over each new set of memoirs that we got with healing. One time he took us into his house and turn on the Hot water then turned it to cold. Making us feel the difference between the two temperatures.
In the end he would always look at us and say “ You can not understand the light unless you can understand the darkness. Because you know of each one you are able to have a true quarter in life. Not many can claim that fact. But with that fact you can see into people and understand why they do the things they do. You are also learning to understand why each of your parts are the way they are. This is the first step in healing of one self.”
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Today we were at a gathering called “Soul Sparkle” . There had been more then one meeting but at this meeting we danced and sang peace songs. We were able to look at the person in charge and thanked her for giving us the opportunity to relearn what safe touch was all about. Not only with those that we trust but also with a person that we do not feel comfortable with. So we were able to but up boundaries and still have fun. But she also allowed us to ask for space between me and those that we will just call sludge buckets.
She gave us our quarter back. The ability to see others for what they are and be able to say how far we are willing to allow them into our space. With the knowledge that there were others there to give us safety and back us up if we should need it.
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Here is a song that she taught to us and it does mean a lot to us to find safety in female friendship.
I walk with beau-ty be- fore me.
I walk with beau-ty be-hind me.
I walk with beau-ty a -bove me.
I walk with beau-ty be--low me.
I walk with beau-ty all a-round me.
I walk with beau-ty within me.
This woman knows what others say about me but is still willing to get to know us instead of what the dark souls wish all to believe us to be. She is a true Mama Bear willing to allow a person to prove themselves instead of taken gossip as truth.
Thank you Mama Bear.
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Sometimes the only way to find freedom is to fight for it, even unto death! Because no form of abuse transcends pass it! To live free and with hope is still the greatest gift of life!- anderson .gif "Boy Angel")
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