Im sorry for the overload of posts lately. I am just flooded with despair and insecurity.
Along with my current situation (living with my mother who has me on edge constantly) and various and sundry other 'things' I find that my past is starting to creep its way back into my life.

This morning I caught myself in a tornado of worries as I drifted in and out of sleep at 7:00AM because I could get no sleep the night before. I have a very deep deep fear that I am just being "stupid" as my mother calls it. That whatever has happened to me in my past, with my stepfather, mother, and biological father. Was not as bad as it could have been. Entering therapy, I feel selfish, like I am just there to talk badly about people and I shouldn't talk about what happened because Im just trying to blow it out of proportion. Sometimes I even question if it did happen and maybe I just imagined things. Even though there is evidence, I still find myself in these "question tornadoes". And then I feel like a liar, or an attention seeker. Because what happened to me wasnt done by a stranger, it wasnt done behind a bush or soemthing, or in a lonely street...it was in my house, and I knew when it would happen and I could have done more to stop it and I didn't. And I just feel like maybe it just plain wasnt bad enough to have to go to therapy for ....like...maybe im wasting my T's time. Or wasting everyones time and im just being dramatic. Like these symtoms im having maybe im just...idk being stupid and blowing them up or I dont know. ....im going into another tornado here. Of questions and doubts and insecurity. I just feel like maybe im wasting my T's time, that it just wasnt "that bad"

How can I stop these "tornadoes". Im wondering if maybe I really am minimising or if its just not that "big a deal"