Thanks everybody for your responses! Here's the deal. My OB sent me to a genetic counselor and a Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist. Basically, they do not want me to take ANY meds, especially during the first trimester. My pdoc disagrees and thinks I should at least stay on the Lamictal throughout the entire pregnancy. There is a elevated risk of cleft palate with Lamictal, but my pdoc thinks the alternative is worse. Recently I went off of my Lamictal on my own and I went completely manic, however, I did not taper the drug like I should have (or with pdoc's help).
I know that I am wanting too much (career, baby, etc), but I am SO tried of feeling like I cannot live a normal life because of BPD. This is my first year back at work and I have come so far since I was first diagnosed. I just do not want my daughter to grow up without a sibling. The pressure I feel about being over 35 magnifies it all. My plan is to try and come off of the meds in June, while I am on summer break. That way I can see if I can do it. If I can handle June and July med free I will then feel like I can handle my new teaching job next year and being pregnant. I know that I have grand plans and I get these ideas in my head that I must complete them. Agh!