Lisa,

I in turn want to say that you understand the situation and express it so well.

The thing that the manipulators do about mirroring and copying is indeed sinister. The person seems to want to become you, but also they are deeply resentful that they are so very needy. So, they seem to project their needs into the victim, but also they project their anger into the victim. The sudden 'snap' or 'lashing out' is such a good indicator of this. So is the hate that comes when you have finally stood up to them and they turn nasty, usually with behind the back badmouthing and 'doing you down'.

Some people call these unfortunates 'psychic vampires' and the Buddhists have a term 'hungry ghosts'. I have a poem in the Silent No More book called 'Hungry Ghosts' which is my take on it.

I think we have to realise that people in this situation are victims too. It is very hard to have empathy for someone who has no empathy for you, and who has hurt you badly, but we have to find it from somewhere or we will be the losers.

I sometimes think that if a dog bites you, you don't get resentful, but are more careful in the future with this particular animal. We expect more from people, especially if they present to us like a friend, and that must be the big problem. If we knew from the start that a certain person could not have a normal relationship, then we wouldn't blame them so much when it went bad.

Something else I have noticed with 'psychic vampires' is that they go on to have more of the same. Future relationships fail in just the same way. I think we know who the real losers are.

Cheers, M