Dear one, please take care of yourself. It sounds like you are beginning to realise what is actually going on. In a way I am glad he wont go to therapy. I think it will be a bad idea and I think you going on your own would benefit you more.
From what you write it sounds like you are at his mercy. Can you see how wrong that is?
A mature woman needs to ask permission of her husband /bf to go to therapy? Its unheard of. I am so sorry.
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great i tried calling for therapy today and he said he will not pay for it. so i found one that was free and he said I couldnt take off work for it. so I found out I could go after work and he said I wouldnt have time. I went ahead and put myself on the 2 month waiting list "without his permission" 
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I am glad you are pursuing this.
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as for group therapy its tonight at 7 and do you really think he is going to let me go? heck no... id have better luck trying to row up hill without a paddle.
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Are you still going?
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maybe I should have put this in the relationship section... didnt realize that was a bigger problem than my drinking.. eekk,
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It does not matter wher this is. I think there is a problem with addiction, abuse, relationship and possibly depression??
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which i did have three beers last night. his mom was out of beers (she dirnks over a case a night) and she was out of money and he wasnt going to buy her any if I didnt drink... so this time it was actually him asking me.
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Please - if you think its not OK for you to drink - do not drink, no matter what he says. Are you afraid of him?
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i was fine without it because i had already taken my night meds at like 8pm.
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Never a good idea to mix meds with alcohol.
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thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions... ((((tatyana)))) ((((byzantine))))
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You are welcome dear. I just want you to know you are not alone. And that there are things you can do to improve your situation. I am here for you xxx