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Apr 27, 2010, 09:31 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
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You're okay to be here!! 
Sorry things are so confusing and painful for you right now.  I don't know if this would work for you, but sometimes, when I get that feeling of "I don't know what to feel", instead of judging that feeling as bad, I do my best to just let it be what it is. I mean, I don't judge it and I sit with it and give myself permission to not know what I feel.
It is a skill that can take some practice...but maybe give yourself that gift of allowing you to feel that confusion. It will pass....I promise. I know it doesn't seem like it, but right now isn't your always. 
And you are strong!!  It takes a lot of strength and courage to reach out for support and discuss the scary and horrifying feelings we hold inside.
Keep hanging on. You don't know what you feel and that feels wrong, but it isn't just wrong, it can also be right at the same time. It is very human to not know how to identify our emotions. This is what is called a "dialectic". That means something can be both good and bad at the same time and we can still be okay.
I hope this made some sense....
Take care 
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