Shoez, you are in therapy because you are smart and you are trying to heal. That is not selfish in any way. In fact, it proves that you are trying to be a healthy member of society. If you just cared about yourself, you would loose yourself in something like a chemical addiction. You would not make the effort to heal.

There is a lot of pain there for you to process through. Keep working at it and don't give up on you.