I think you're a bit naive as you speak of both "if the feelings are real" and manipulating others to think/feel or yourself to think/feel after you've set definite limits on what you're willing to think/feel.

To be and feel loved, you have to be capable of loving. One cannot manipulate feelings. If I love/like/care for you, it's "Me" doing the loving, liking, and caring, and that's 100% because of who I am, not who you represent yourself to be. Likewise, what you get out of a relationship with me, doesn't have as much to do with me as it does which you! For what you think would be a satisfactory relationship for you; you'd either have to find someone "like" you describe yourself (which doesn't sound very fulfulling to me, to be on the receiving end) or, you have to find someone who could be manipulated by you, and that sort of person doesn't sound very fulfulling either?