You sound much like I am. I relentlessly see the good in people, despite that it simply is very difficult to find in other's anymore. (Well, more often than not, anyway, the good is hard to find). It's taken me years to come to the realization that many simply are self-absorbed to the point they'd rather not attend to the support of other's during their time of need. That realization hasn't changed me, it's only taught me how to be more selective and aware of others..a means of self-preservation, so to speak.

I don't think that by contacting your friend the first time for support was out of conduct, (how were you to know how she felt as she never told you she didn't want anything to do with it?).
Although by her telling you that she didn't recall any of it could have been read as the same as telling you she wanted nothing to do with it...and maybe it should have been left there.
She could have made it easy for the both of you by directly telling you that she wanted no part of the memory, however, maybe she honestly didn't remember. It's hard to say, really. Still, what little she did provide you, (by passing it off as having no recollections), was indication enough that she wanted no part of it. (I would have had a hard time understanding her exactness, some, too).

I'm sorry that this left you feeling so alone and abandoned in this.
I think you did the right thing by sending her that email with apology. IMO, that (should) correct this matter ...for the both of you.

You have done nothing "wrong". Try not to ride yourself over this. You sought support from someone who either wasn't capable or was unwilling to provide.
How this ended for you (regarding her), is not a matter of blame.
Try not to go there..ok?...

Shangrala